So wont the real Mrs. Claus please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?

19 12 2013
Waiting for Santa.

Waiting for Santa.

All of the Christmas lights I spent hours hanging up outside of the house just stopped working tonight. Not really feeling like investigating the reason, I instead, decide to embark on a certain mission that has been presented to me and maybe fuel up with some good ole holiday spirits.

It has come to my attention that I have no idea what Mrs. Claus’s name first name is. Christmas is almost here and I feel obligated to discover the answer before the white bearded man comes down my chimney.

My first instinct is to Google it of course. The first link is wikipedia, which I don’t normally rely on for factual information, but we are searching for Mrs. Claus’s first name. Mrs. Claus, as in the wife of Santa Claus. You know?

So I click on the link and read something about her first name being a mystery but then they list about nine different names that she’s been referred to as. That’s like saying she was born in Kentucky, Alabama, Massachusetts, Wyoming, Nevada, Oregon, Louisiana and the North Pole. Unless she’s got multiple personalities or is very indecisive of what she wants to be called, this just can’t be. I’m not satisfied at all with this answer.

The next link I click on is www.santaclaus.com. Cool! I never knew Santa had his own website. This should be good, I think to myself. I read the website and find the same question that I was asked the other night. What is Mrs. Claus’s first name?

The answer is right there. Her name is Jessica Mary Claus.

I thought, at first, that my search was over and couldn’t believe how easy it was to figure the answer out. Then I read more on the site to learn that you can become an elf by doing well in school, Santa and Mrs. Claus like to vacation in the Florida Keys after the holidays, and Santa gets the flu shot each year. I’m losing faith with this site’s credibility and confirm my doubts with the disclaimer at the bottom of the web page.

It reads,”All warranties express(ed) or implied are hereby disclaimed. Every effort is made to ensure that information is correct, but is not guaranteed.”

My mission is not over yet. I’m not 100% convinced that Mrs. Claus’s name is Jessica Mary Claus. The next few links I clicked onto gave me Jessica’s name again, as well as some new ones, but none could back up their answers with any credible source. Not to mention each answer has a different story about Mrs. Claus in general.

Seems like I may have my work cut out for me here. Oh wow! My Christmas lights just came back on. And all I had to do was press the reset button on the light socket panel.





The best way to make your dreams come true…

4 02 2013

Being creative until the wee hours in the morning.

Dream away.

Dream away.





Five reasons being a Vampire would be pretty cool

3 10 2012

1) The Travel Experience

As a vampire, since you have unlimited days on earth (unless you get staked of course), you have all the time in the world to travel and see everything the world has to offer; From the street canals of Venice, Italy and the Himalayas in India to the volcanoes in Iceland and Indonesia and the rainforests in South America. Every city in every country, every desert, every lake, every canal or stream, every mountain, every cliff, every cornfield, every pasture… every thing! Along with your travels you will get to meet all kinds of different people from different cultures. Just be on your best behavior and make friends rather than eat them all and you’ll be able to enjoy more without worrying that somebody is out to get you for revenge or because they want all blood sucking vampires dead, again.

2) Breaking the Language Barrier

If you had all the time in the world and didn’t want to get bored, pick up a book or Mavis Beacon CD and learn a language. Spend some quality time learning to speak Spanish in all its dialects and regions, French, Russian, Chinese, Greek, Latin, Arabic, you name it. You can learn by submerging yourself in that region or country for a year or two, until you speak it fluently. After a hundred years or so of walking around the earth, you’ll be able to speak to anybody and everybody! Even the tough French-Creole dialects found in certain Parishes of New Orleans (reference Waterboy with Adam Sandler). Nobody would ever be able to talk smack about you without you knowing. There won’t be any secrets kept from you either. Once you learn all the languages, if you get bored you can always create a new one of your own. Let a hundred years go by and see how many people picked it up.

3) Adrenaline Junkie Is An Understatement

Could you imagine the stunts you would be able to pull off if death wasn’t an issue and life was everlasting? Bungee jumping is so outdated but you would still have to do it at least once. But why not climb higher for a longer drop? Longer bungee jumping rides equals more fun and enjoyment for that adrenaline addiction. Skydiving, paragliding, cliff jumping, scuba diving in the Great Barrier Reef, dirt bike stunts, four-wheeling ATVs, mountain climbing, cave diving, anything you can’t imagine anybody being able to do and survive, you can do! The impossible is now possible once you’re a vampire. And you’re not doing these stunts for bragging rights, because you have an advantage without the fear of dying, rather you do these things to truly feel what it’s like to do them. To feel the wind against your face as you free fall thousands of feet in mid air, meet the underwater sea creatures nobody has been able to discover, wrestle an alligator, swim with a whale, whatever you desire, you can conquer.

 Image

4) Best of the Best Concert Series

Being a vampire has some definite advantages. You can go watch every great musician, band, solo artist, quartet, or instrumental group perform live. Imagine hanging out in a local Jersey dive listening to Bruce Springsteen, at a Minneapolis coffeehouse listening to Bob Dylan, or at a club in Liverpool listening to four boyish legends known as The Beatles. Hear famous symphony orchestras and opera performances from all over the world. Learn the moonwalk from Michael Jackson, smoke weed with Snoop Dog, Jimi Hendrix and the band Sublime, drink beers with Johnny Cash, strike a pose with Madonna, party with Kurt Cobain and Jerry Garcia, compare lips with Mick Jagger and Steven Tyler, have a cocktail with Frank Sinatra, sing the delta blues with Willie Brown, or jazz it up with Duke Ellington and Etta James. You would be able to watch live performances of every artist, in every country, during the course of the time that passes. Spend years traveling around attending one concert after another until you’ve crossed everybody off your list, of course you’ll be adding them as you go too. You will be so well diverse with every genre of music, the uniqueness of each decade or era, educated with soulful words and melodies. I can only imagine the happiness within. Collect the concert tickets or napkins from the location or something that proves you were there and make a collage for your vampire home. How cool would that be to be able to enjoy all of these artists, live, pouring out their energy so you can be inspired and entertained?

5) Never Be Jobless

Since you’re a vampire and your life is about endless experiences, you pretty much are living history as is plays out, decade after decade, century after century. You were there when aspirin company Bayer used to market heroin, during the 72 years when Louis XIV reigned France, witnessed the dollar become the first official currency, or to meet Dante (pre-Divine Comedy) when he was just a boy studying Tuscan poetry at the Sicilian School. With all of this first-hand knowledge you can work as a college professor (night classes only) or write and publish history books with explicit and accurate detail. You can also teach online history classes or tutor individuals in the evenings. These types of jobs would probably come easy to a vampire. Since you have the opportunity to be an expert in just about any subject matter many options are out there for you such as DIY shows, travel shows for the countries with the best nightlife and more!

It’s starting to make sense why Vampires can come across as being arrogant and snobby. They’ve been around long enough and have learned as much as they could take in and could be quite bored with the ordinary. Imagine having to explain the same thing to each person you encounter, day in and day out, teaching them that Arabic numerals were not invented by Arabs, that ketchup was sold as medicine in the 1830s, that two of the Titanic survivors were dogs, and that it took 20 thousand men, 20 years, to finish building the Taj Mahal. They’re smart, they’ve been there, done that, and seen that, and they kind of have bragging rights to be know-it-alls. Don’t take it personal if they beat you in Jeopardy and Who Wants to be a Millionaire, remember, they could do a lot more damage if they really wanted to.





5 Benefits of Lesbian Dating

6 03 2012

Wardrobe Malfunction

Sometimes…if you forget your makeup, didn’t accessorize enough, need to change clothes to go out but didn’t bring extra, forget to moisturize, snag your pantyhose, or need a refresher spritz of perfume…you can borrow hers or she can borrow yours…sometimes.

Bathroom

When you both are out at a restaurant, bar or club with a group of friends and she looks at you with that glisten in her eyes; the hormonal urge quickly bestows itself upon the both of you. Make the nod towards the women’s restroom where you both will meet up in a few minutes to sneak that kiss, or whatever,without even being suspected by guests or staff. Girls love to go to the bathroom together.

Sympathy

That time of the month can be a bit challenging for a woman…emotions out of control, abdominal cramps bringing you to your knees, patience non-existent, mood changes constantly…It’s nice when the person you’re dating really understands what you’re going through and knows how to not irritate you or upset you and most especially, when to back off. They can honestly relate, without holding it against you later!

Feminine Products

Going along with period sympathy…when Mother Nature pops up on you unexpectedly or maybe you just used the last tampon you brought out with you, chances are she’ll have tampons in her purse or under her sink, saving you both time and money not to mention the prevention of any embarrassing accidents. She’s got you covered.

Department Store

There’s nothing like being able to go with her into the changing room in the department store. It’s a free strip tease in the middle of a small secure area lined with mirrors and bad lighting. Kind of like the champagne room only the music isn’t quite as loud and you don’t have to dish out any money. Except to purchase whatever is it she wants to buy. Hmmm…come to think of it, you might save more money just going to a strip club.





Changing the World One Blog at a Time

7 02 2012

One person can’t save the world right? Or maybe they can.

I involve myself in the dog rescue world because I have always had a big heart for animals and I love making positive differences. It’s sad and upsetting to hear stories on a day-to-day basis about a dog owner surrendering their furry family member of some crazy number of years because of one thing or another.

I’m not one to judge but what happened to following through with the decisions you make?

You wanted a family dog, you got one, you played with him for years, you fed him, you let him sleep in your bed at times, you made him a part of your family, you made him believe he was safe and loved and now times are tough…

…There’s not enough money to be made to continue your lifestyle, the dog’s sick and you foresee huge vet bills, you have to relocate but you can’t take the dog, you don’t have the time anymore to take care of it….

 

I’m sorry but that’s bullshit.

I firmly believe that where there is a will, there is a way. Can’t remember where I’ve heard that before but it’s perfectly true.

This is my response.

Make yourself a new budget, plan ahead and get pet insurance, put some money aside for these unforeseen circumstances, change your plans or lifestyle a little to incorporate your furry family member, make time for the important things, follow through and take care of the responsibilities you took on rather than pawning them off on somebody else. Stop putting your wants and needs in front of everything else.

I had no idea the amount of responsibilities I took on when adopting my first dog. I was still in college and working full time. I learned the hard way but I learned. I had help at times but I always strived to take care of my own things and would work hard at getting back in balance.

And I did.

Not to say I wouldn’t be thrown off course again but I just get back up and move forward with my goals. Leaving my dog behind though, wasn’t an option to me.

Looking back I see some of the things I could have done better, better choices I could have made. I remember many times looking for an apartment within my budget that allows big dogs and hitting one dead end after another. The thought of how much easier this apartment search would be if I didn’t have a dog did come across my mind.

Easier is the key word here. And the apartment search would have been.

But I fell in love with this dog, and I made her a part of my family and to choose the easy way over the unconditional love this animal gave me would be a mistake I would live to regret for the rest of my life.

Not only would I fail and pass on my burdens to someone else, I would fail because the other options didn’t favor my immediate gratifications. I would fail because the other options weren’t in my comfort zone and I can’t think outside that box. I don’t know how anybody can justify doing that.

Did you really exhaust ALL of your options?

Maybe bringing the dog with you on your cross-country move would be extremely difficult. Maybe it would mean you would take longer to get to your destination or maybe it means you’ll have to live in a different city close by the one you originally wanted to live in. Maybe it would cost a little more. Maybe it would require more planning on your part which takes up more of your time.

These reasons don’t seem impossible to overcome. They don’t sound like life-threatening, doomsday, can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel type of corners you think you’ve backed yourself up into. If there is a will, there’s another answer other than wiping your hands clean of what you now call a problem when you used to call him your dog.

I’m thankful to all of the people out there who own up to their responsibilities, for better or for worse, and stick through it. I’m thankful to those who lend a helping hand to people and animals that need it in tough times or just in general. I’m thankful that there are people out there that don’t mind taking on more than their fair share in order to save the lives of these dogs.

If we all just did our part, and it’s really not that big of a part, then this world would be such a different place. One to be proud of.

Which makes me come back to whether or not one person can save the world. My answer is absolutely! One person at a time.





Love is Blinded by the Light of Evil

2 02 2012

Now that I’ve seen

And learned about suffering and grief

On a level no one would believe,

I wonder why I  hold on to so tightly.

I would like to just squeeze the sadness right

Through til it seeps out

And trickles down,

Only to drop on the floor for me to mop up later.

And no one can stop

What goes through my thoughts

And into my heart

Because that’s where it starts

And ends, but being apart from your feelings

Will not allow you to embark

On your journey through the dark.





Let Go of Your Fears and Just Jump in Already!

7 11 2011

I thought I was good at letting go and moving on. In some ways I am, as long as I don’t stop to take a break and let my mind think.

I’ve learned growing up, that things aren’t always as they seem. Much like when you are a child, places seem bigger, the future so far ahead, you have all the time in the world to do whatever you please, you bounce back from mistakes quicker because they were expected out of you.

Now as an adult things are different.

I remember this park down at the end of the street I lived on in Miami. There was a jungle gym type of thing in the middle of the park. It looked like two arched ladders leading to the center platform piece, which fit about five or six of us comfortably. We would climb to the top of this jungle gym and feel like we were on top of the world. We were pretty high up there, my heart would race a little if I looked down at the ground.

Then someone would come up with the brilliant idea of running and jumping over the arched metal ladder long ways. First of all, the platform wasn’t that big and there wasn’t enough room to get much of a running start. Then you had to jump outward as far as you could so that you wouldn’t fall short and clip yourself on the ladder coming down.

It seemed impossible, risky and potentially dangerous. But when you’re 9 years old and you haven’t been exposed to very much danger you really don’t know what you’re getting into until it’s too late.

One by one we jumped. Everybody cleared the ladder but not all of us had smooth landings. I remember the feeling when I hit the ground and rolled a little bit. It didn’t hurt much, maybe shook me up a little, but I survived. I was so relieved and couldn’t believe I had doubted myself. I made the jump!

No serious damage was done except maybe some scratches and grass stains on my pants. I felt so liberated after doing the impossible. I let go of my fears and jumped. And everything was okay.

I’m not sure what happened to that little girl or maybe as I got older my jungle gym also got bigger, higher up, the ground below isn’t as soft, etc. My list of excuses grew right along with me. I’m not exactly sure when things started to get complicated and my fears began to take over. I’m not exactly sure when I started ignoring or acting bigger than my emotions and feelings, thinking I can control how they affect me rather than acknowledge them and allow them to take their course. I have no idea where my superwoman complex, as I like to think of it, came from.

What I know now is that I need to start paying attention to myself and realize that the answers are indeed within me.

As a child, I somehow knew how to overcome my fears and let go of things that weighed me down. Maybe it was because I hadn’t been hurt very much at that point in my life but why do the scars have to bring out the negative? 

Why can’t they be a reminder of a time when you beat your fear and you survived the jump and not about a mistake or bad decision that you made? Letting go shouldn’t be so hard, so why is it sometimes? I’m linking it to a fear of some sort, but i’m having trouble figuring out what is so scary about a life full of endless opportunities?