Waiting for Santa.
All of the Christmas lights I spent hours hanging up outside of the house just stopped working tonight. Not really feeling like investigating the reason, I instead, decide to embark on a certain mission that has been presented to me and maybe fuel up with some good ole holiday spirits.
It has come to my attention that I have no idea what Mrs. Claus’s name first name is. Christmas is almost here and I feel obligated to discover the answer before the white bearded man comes down my chimney.
My first instinct is to Google it of course. The first link is wikipedia, which I don’t normally rely on for factual information, but we are searching for Mrs. Claus’s first name. Mrs. Claus, as in the wife of Santa Claus. You know?
So I click on the link and read something about her first name being a mystery but then they list about nine different names that she’s been referred to as. That’s like saying she was born in Kentucky, Alabama, Massachusetts, Wyoming, Nevada, Oregon, Louisiana and the North Pole. Unless she’s got multiple personalities or is very indecisive of what she wants to be called, this just can’t be. I’m not satisfied at all with this answer.
The next link I click on is www.santaclaus.com. Cool! I never knew Santa had his own website. This should be good, I think to myself. I read the website and find the same question that I was asked the other night. What is Mrs. Claus’s first name?
The answer is right there. Her name is Jessica Mary Claus.
I thought, at first, that my search was over and couldn’t believe how easy it was to figure the answer out. Then I read more on the site to learn that you can become an elf by doing well in school, Santa and Mrs. Claus like to vacation in the Florida Keys after the holidays, and Santa gets the flu shot each year. I’m losing faith with this site’s credibility and confirm my doubts with the disclaimer at the bottom of the web page.
It reads,”All warranties express(ed) or implied are hereby disclaimed. Every effort is made to ensure that information is correct, but is not guaranteed.”
My mission is not over yet. I’m not 100% convinced that Mrs. Claus’s name is Jessica Mary Claus. The next few links I clicked onto gave me Jessica’s name again, as well as some new ones, but none could back up their answers with any credible source. Not to mention each answer has a different story about Mrs. Claus in general.
Seems like I may have my work cut out for me here. Oh wow! My Christmas lights just came back on. And all I had to do was press the reset button on the light socket panel.
iamperfectlydysfunctional 